All over for another year

Well, we've arrived at our last full day.  Sadly, there is no more to report on "Parrotwatch" so we can only assume that the missing African Grey has been found safely.  Today was meant to be another "Phew what a Scorcher!" day which actually didn't turn out to be as hot as yesterday - thank goodness - so maybe we can sleep tonight.  It was so hot and sticky last night everyone was crotchety and had trouble dropping off. 

Dawn and I have had a lovely rest, she is comfortably beating me in the book stakes, having read 4 books (two over 600 pages) plus the Sunday Observer, cover to cover including magazines, whilst I have just managed 2 and a half, the last one finished today and called "The End of the Wasp Season" by Denise Mina, a gripping Crime novel.  I wish it was, as today we have been particularly plagued by the bloody things, buzzing round our ears and food as we tried to devour the contents of the fridge.  We even got pestered by some stray ducks... God knows where they came from as we hadn't seen any so far this week.

Her vice this week has been coffee and mine has been BEER, especially this one, which I have taken a real liking to.  It's essentially lemon flavoured lager and much better than the new lime ones we get in the UK - I'm keeping a look out for it.

As for the girls, young Madeline decided not to go with the others to the theme park today and instead remained in and around the caravan, drawing, stretching and exercising.  When the others got back there was a lack of the usual bickering and arguing as they seemed to be getting along better than at any other time.  Typical to leave it until the end of the holiday for the good behaviour to kick in!  Anna has been the quietest and unfortunately is sporting a cut under her left eye that makes her look as though she has gone a round with Frank Bruno.  However, it was accidental and is looking worse as it heals up.  She has spent most of her time listening to music on her iPod touch, blocking out the sounds of the others arguing no doubt! However, I think they have all generally had a good time and are talking about coming back next and every year, so I guess we've done something right.  Izzy even bought a "Duinrell Park" t-shirt, so when she DOES come back, she can wear it and show that she's "been here before, like, I so know my way around 'cos we come here EVERY YEAR."

Well, mission accomplished then I guess.  This was their holiday.  We get our time next week when we go up to Edinburgh for the Fringe Festival... after 3 days back at work of course, when I try and deal with everything that has happened whilst I've been away.

I enjoy writing as I find it therapeutic and relaxing.  I know from the stats that there are approximately 75 page hits every day so if you are one of those regulars, I hope you've enjoyed reading it as much as I've enjoyed writing it.

And now for something completely different...

Today has had shades of a Monty Python episode.  At first, I guess you could say the girls had everything they could have wanted on holiday; a theme park, water park, hundreds of playmates, no trips to make to please the parents and clear, unbroken skies with temperatures approaching 30 degrees. 

Pray tell me then why it is that once they EVENTUALLY surfaced all I heard was constant moaning and negativity?  One of them felt ill, another wanted to borrow this, that one said they couldn't, there wasn't the right stuff for breakfast, why didn't we have any nice food, why didn't the internet hotspot work properly, and did I know it was meant to be 31 degrees at home?  One of them positioned herself in the doorway so no-one could get in or out because "That's the only place I can get a signal", despite the fact that most of the time I have been on the 'Net has been sat outside by the table.  She absolutely refused to move and the look she gave anyone who wanted to get past was similar to that if you had just asked her to clean the decking with a toothbrush.

It is just incessant and wearing.  Is this what girls do?  I'm not in it for the gratitude but this is their holiday and just once it would be nice if they got up and had something nice to say!  Moan, Moan, Moan (first Python reference - The Dead Bishop Sketch for anyone who remembers it).

Anyway, Dawn and I went for a walk to escape the misery and ventured into the Pancake House (Pannenkoeken Huis) for some brunch, and saw the advert on the board outside for a new vacancy... anyone fancy being a fulltime KOK?  

Refreshed and ready to do battle again with the moaning brood, we wandered back to the site and we encountered a chap who was riding around on his bike asking if people had seen his missing African Grey Parrot.  It was clipped so couldn't get far, but why would you bring a Parrot to a caravan and camp site?  It wasn't a Norwegian Blue (2nd Python reference) so probably wasn't "Pining for the Fjords" but it did imitate a human whistle, particularly "Always Look on the Bright Side of Life" (reference 3). It also responded to humans whistling that song.

We didn't find it, but we did hear a lot of people whistling that tune and you can picture people all over the site rushing to see if it was the parrot, only to be greeted by other people doing exactly the same thing.

We did come back to only 3 of the 4 girls, one having gone off on their own (a strict no-no as we told them they should all stay together) and their rooms were in an absolute state.  I know they are small rooms in a caravan, but come on - 

                      

What you didn't see is the numerous used make up wipes stuffed down the side of the bed and sofas, the make up smears all over the door and wall and lumps of mascara smudged into the sheets.  Will this shame them into being a little tidier?  I doubt it.  At least we don't run as much risk of being burgled; any would be thief woul;d take one look and think it had already been done!

There were no more Python-esque moments although we did have a BBQ in the absolutely scorching weather which had the usual burgers, sausages, chicken and these tasty kebabs...

... and this is the last picture I managed to get out of my camera before it broke. I am unlucky with cameras.  The last time I was in Holland I lost my camera, a Kodak V610 with an immense zoom and it really is idiot and bloody idiot proof. This is the replacement. 

My camera clearly doesn't like Holland. Oh well, never mind.

"Always look on the bright side of life, dee do, dee do dee do dee do..."

Note - just as I have finished this, the man on the bike has come round again with "Wanted" notes for the Parrot, which he still hasn't found but has been seen around the site. More on "Parrotwatch" tomorrow...

Going to Pot.

Don't let the piccy fool you. We didn't come in by train but instead used the hire car and managed to park in the practically deserted car park under the Hilton Doubletree Hotel, which is also right next to the station.

The deal we'd done with the girls is that they could stay out late last night as long as they were up early this morning.  Did that happen? Well, sort of, but not as early as we'd have liked.  They were all tired, Madeline wasn't feeling well and we had to delay slightly until the Tiki-bad opened at 10 so Megan could retrieve her shoes which - as if by magic - mysteriously appeared underneath a duvet at 9:45 where they had actually been all the time.

I don't think I'd actually put the car into gear before one of them piped up "I feel sick" from the back and our short 45 minute drive was punctuated by a mercy stop at a petrol station where there also happened to be a KFC, the sight of which immediately perked up the health of the previously nauseous passengers. We were going to have a proper meal in Amsterdam so there was no way a KFC was on the menu.

Our first stop was at a large restaurant on the banks of the canal by the station, called Smits Koffiehuis, where we received our fuel for the day.  A canal trip, visit to Anne Franks house and who knows what else was on the agenda.

As this was next to a load of places offering Canal Tours, that was next.  Dawn and I found it really interesting, going down just some of the 160 canals in the city and learning about the history and architecture.

However, if I'd known that the girls would have slept through the whole thing, I might have re-considered spending 15 Euros a head on it!

On the Tour we went past Anne Franks house and the queue to get in stretched halfway around the block.  Conservative estimates put that as at least an hour so we gave it best; maybe something to do on our own another time.  I really didn't want to hang around for ages trying to get in and then be rushed through it by the girls just so they could examine the Visitors Book!

So we just wandered down a street where there seemed to be some shops and here are the first three the girls made a bee line for - 

Yes, all selling Cannabis plant seeds, weed itself, magic mushrooms and all other sorts of things that would be illegal in the UK.  One of them was selling Cannabis lollipops which the girls were going to buy until they discovered it was just the flavour, not the actual drug itself so they wouldn't get high. Disgruntled, they opted for a tube of sherbert, a bar of chocolate and a waffle with maple syrup, clearly opting for SUGAR as the drug of choice.  In a final attempt to shock and rebel, one of them did purchase a pair of Cannabis Leaf socks though.  As you can see, she's trying to get high on tiptoe...

And that was about as good as it got, with the day "Going to Pot" in more ways than one. Soon the bickering started and we decided to give it best and head back home having accomplished very little of what we wanted to achieve.  This carried on a bit in the car journey home, then while getting dinner ready and then through dinner itself before Dawn frustratingly exclaimed that she wasn't doing this again.  Still, we have a few days on our own next week in Edinburgh which will be BLISS and that's more than most get so I'm thankful.  

In all seriousness, they haven't been too bad but they all have their quirks and foibles that drive you mad.  I've now decided I am going to write a book called "Living with Girls" which should make me an absolute fortune and be a decent addition to my pension.

There's only one problem; no-one would believe it.

It's a Washout!

Back in the 1970's there was a highly entertaining game show called "It's a Knockout", hosted by the now notorious Stuart Hall and Eddie "Up and Under" Waring (people of a certain age will remember). The European version was "Jeux Sans Frontieres", which doesn't translate exactly as "It's a Knockout"; in fact it doesn't translate as that at all and instead reads "Games Without Frontiers" (which also was the title of a track for Peter Gabriel on his imaginatively named 3rd album "Peter Gabriel", but I digress).

The point is that these games involved people in giant foam costumes running about a lot and everyone got wet as almost every game involved tons of water.  The Belgians were usually rubbish at most things, the English teams would have a good crack but it was usually the French and the Germans who came out on top. 

The Dutch entered but rarely won anything although I reckon today we could have had a damn good go at having an on-site contest.  The weather has been nothing short of abysmal and large puddles lay everywhere. The girls have still all have had a good time and have been down at the Tiki-Bad (indoor water park) where, at the time of writing, we think Megan has left her shoes.  There isn't a ton of stuff to do in a caravan in the rain, especially when there is no TV and they don't want to play any games.  But, they did all go out and around the park for a few hours which left us to read our books and do the sort of stuff that adults do when the kids aren't about.  You know, rest and relax, that sort of thing...

Anyway, they did all get soaking wet, not only from the water park but from the journey there and back.  Do most 15 year old girls wash their hair extensions and then leave them on the airer like this- 

And then, why would they spend an hour an a half getting ready to go out to the plaza tonight, including a significant amount of time straightening their hair, when none of them have a brolly and the second they step out in the rain it will go all wavy?  Here are some miserable rainy images from around the site to make you all feel better.

Tomorrow we are off to Amsterdam for the day.  The girls expressed a desire to visit Anne Franks house; I was impressed! Blimey, they have learnt something at school, I thought.  However, my hopes were dashed as they told me it was only because Justin Bieber had been there and signed the visitors book so they wanted to see what he wrote.

Oh well.

These feet are too big for Holland...

I made it happen.

This morning, I witnessed the first accident involving a go kart (pictured above).  Well, when I say witnessed, I mean heard. Two lads, both about 5-6 years old, one in a go kart and one on a bike, were having a bit of a race. I stepped aside as they were clearly oblivious to my presence on the road and as they sped past, I carried on. A few seconds later from behind me I then heard the almighty racket of metal against metal and flesh against concrete.  I turned to see the boy on the bike laying on the floor howling in pain and it appeared as though the go kart had actually run him over.  I went over to assist and he had both elbows and knees grazed and bleeding, but no other obvious injuries.  These things do look like fun but they worry me.  Kids are forever just driving out through gaps in the hedges and any car driver just would not stand a chance of stopping and in my opinion it is a horrendous accident waiting to happen. I hope this is as bad as it gets and that there are no worse incidents, although later in the day I did see a young girl on Rollerblades nearly force a woman on a bike into a hedge.

Weather wise it was pretty darn good today and the girls stayed in and around the site, pool and theme park. Dawn and I went into Wassenaar to stock up on the food from the Supermarket, grab a spot of lunch and generally have a mosey about.  It's very pretty, check out these pics - 

 

In the evening we treated the girls to a meal at the on-site restaurant, La Place, which they seemed to enjoy and this nice family shot would have been even better had Madeline not decided to pull her "Special" face (check out bottom left).

Now, here's a fact: the average height of a Dutch man is 6'1" and rising.  No-one really knows for sure why this is but it's mainly attributed to diet and the fact that they eat Organic cows and drink their milk (not the 1% milk we tend to favour over in the UK).

This means that Dutch clothing should fit me easily and we discovered a Mens clothing store with a 50% sale on.  I settled for a Jack Jones "Hoodie" and was also going to grab a pair of tasty looking Boat Shoes in Navy Blue. However, not only did the store owner not have them in my size (12, or 47 in European sizing), he didn't possess a single pair of footwear in any style above a size 45!

Given the fact that the men are much taller, I would have expected the sizing to go up to 50, but no.

So, I can say that I have feet too large for the Dutch to handle.  And you know what they say about men with big feet, don't you?

That's right.  They have big shoes.

Keep death off the roads, drive on the pavement.

A very lazy day, everyone up around 10 apart from Megan who was giving Rip Van Winkle a run for his money.  The other 3 girls explored the theme park whilst Dawn and I went for a "Power Walk" around the site and through the woodland area.  Note to self - next time wear trainers and not Birkenstock sandals.

Young Madeline had managed to lose her site pass somewhere inside the van and was refusing to look for it, just wanting us to go down to the reception and get another one.  This caused a lot of morning tension and she entered "Satan Mode" before being grounded for a while. We did stop at the reception to enquire about replacements and were informed that they cost 25 Euros.  Funnily enough she started looking for it after that and it was found.  In the bin.

The supermarket on-site is well stocked but really expensive, so we decided to go to the main one in Wassenaar but, of course, being Sunday, everything was closed. The Dutch don't have our "24/7 everything everywhere all the time" culture. But to say the journey was interesting is a bit of an understatement as overnight I seem to have lost all knowledge and power to drive abroad.  I won't mention the 50m or so of driving on the wrong side of the road, but I did introduce Dawn to the pleasures of "kerb driving", a technique very rarely seen in the UK unless you are a) a learner or b) a complete buffoon.  The car we have is a practically new VW Sharan - very nice - but also which has a few little quirks and safety features that I had never previously heard about.  For instance, the engine won't fire until you put your foot on the clutch. Also, the electronic handbrake won't release until you put you foot on the brake.  Is that normal? Again, it makes you look a bit of an idiot when you don't know.

Things also get a bit interesting round the site at times as well, mainly because the place is overrun with pedal go karts that can be hired.  Now these look fun, but the rate at which people race around can sometimes be a bit scary plus the fact that with cars, bikes and pedestrians everywhere I'm amazed we haven't seen any major collisions. 

Weather wise it's been sunny with a bit of cloud and we topped up the tan (or should I say got rather red) in the afternoon while the kids were generally having a good time.  We had cheese and ham salad for dinner (not pizzas, burgers and masses of chips again, much to their disgust) and they prepared to go out and meet their new friends in the evening.  They came back a bit later than scheduled but all agree so far that this is the Best. Holiday. Ever.

The forecast for tomorrow is for rain; I hope it doesn't dampen the spirits.

"Turned out nice again"

Flying from Southend is a real bonus when travelling but it has to be said that the real benefit is when you return.  Yes, it's nice to only have a 10 minute trip to the airport but you still have to be there very early, meaning that for a 7:30 departure, waking time is still 4:45.  Trying to get a family of girls up and out is no mean feat at the best of times and this is made doubly hard when they are all trying to actively be the last one up.

Still, we managed it and everything went accordingly to plan. The flight was only 40 minutes long and I did wonder at the wisdom of the stewardess trying to sell hot bacon baguettes that take 10-15 minutes to prepare to the row behind me (we were in row 10) with only 15 minutes of the flight left. She actually handed it to him as the other crew were buckling up to land.

It took us almost twice as long to get through the airport and to collect the car we had hired.  No problems, Schiphol is just a big airport!  

Duinrell, our home for the week, was about 30 minutes drive and as we arrived it started to cloud over.  Everyone was tired and moaning, poor Izzy is recovering from Glandular fever, Dawn was feeling rotten and everyones faces were thoroughly miserable. This mood was not helped by the rain that started almost immediately we checked in and which turned into a storm of biblical proportions within seconds.  To say we were drenched is an understatement; we may as well have just jumped in the pool.

There was a place selling Pizzas and Burgers and this cheered the kids up.  It's amazing what a bit of junk food can do and we looked like a family out of that Channel 4 Documentary "Skint", sat huddled under a big umbrella in the rain stuffing our faces.

It did improve though... within an hour or so the sun had appeared and by 4:30 I was sunbathing on a lounger by the side of the caravan... something I wouldn't have thought possible when we arrived. 

The girls had a whale of a time at the indoor water park Tiki-bad and as I'm typing this, accompanied by a beer or two outside the van, they are off exploring the camp site and making new friends.  Dawn is relaxing and is sat next to me, reading (her favourite occupation) and the air is full of the sound of children playing, laughter and giggles a-plenty.

Hopefully this could end up being a fantastic trip.  So far, so good.

Bloody Typical!

So the annual Goodson-Lister family holiday event looms.  This year features another "eyebrow-raising" destination as we are off to Duinrell in Holland for a week.

"Oh", most people say, "Why? What's in Holland?"

Well, dear reader, I shall tell you.  A Keycamp site, that's what. And it has a water park and theme park attached to it.  Check these pictures out -

So there - that's what's in Holland.  And the best bit is that it is about one third of the price of going to the Med.  There is of course always the issue that the weather may not actually be as nice as it is in Spain or Greece, but pish posh... mere detail!  Ok, ok, I have to say that the weather forecast for next week isn't all that great, with rain and thunderstorms due on 3 or 4 of the days, but we'll still have a great time and the kids are waterproof (note - is a Kindle?  Must check.)  Incidentally, it is cheaper for 6 of us to fly from Southend to Amsterdam and back PLUS hire a 7 seater people carrier than take our own car to the Ferry at Harwich and sail to the Hook of Holland.  Madness.

But anyway, we really need this holiday.  Just this week, I have had to contend with -

1) Dawn having a cateract operation which hasn't really worked,

2) My Dad being taken unwell with swelling to his legs and feet, being in and out of the Doctors and then discovering earlier this evening that it is a weakening of the heart muscle which he will be on medication for (quite a good outcome but a worrying few days nonetheless),

3) The kids breaking up from school and therefore making more work than ever,

4) One child in particular being the spawn of the devil and making everyone's life hell,

5) Several last minute office problems that "would only take a few seconds" but which each took about 15 minutes,

6) Having to get a new tyre for a Ford Focus after a puncture and being told the cost was £236.50 (yes, for just one tyre. On a Focus, not a Ferrari.), and

7) The most potentially disastrous of all when I have this evening tried to find the car hire voucher for the car I have booked and paid for and discovering there isn't one so having to telephone all the internet car hire companies to see which one it was booked through.  And yes, all is well, fortunately.

So for light reading you can follow our Dutch exploits as I will update this daily, Internet permitting.

Oh, by the way, I've just checked the weather forecast again. 6 out of 7 days stormy and wet.  Bugger.